So Big Brother is back for a tenth series and that in itself neccesitates its own edition however one other show also deserved covering so after a review of all the new housemates I also give my judgment on I’m Running Sainsbury’s
As Davina always says ‘The Summer Starts here’ in fact the British Summer Time starts on June 21st instead a way to miss summer is to sit indoors and watch Big Brother. Davina started by showing us round the house which was actually a bunch of crates but that was the thing, there was no Big Brother House as of yet, I will go into more detail in biweekly Big Brother blogs but for now I’m just going to give you my opening comments on the housemates.
Freddie: The last two years the first housemate(s) out has/have been a bit of a shock, the twins in BB8 and last year everyone’s fave tanned body-building couple Lario. This year though we started with posh toff Freddie, a bit less eccentric than he likes to think he comes up with some right codswallop, ‘I vote Tory but I’m an anarchist at heart’, he also has a tendancy to sing Jazz numbers off-key. He went to Oxford Uni, lives in a big house somewhere in the Staffordshire/Shropshire area and likes boys and girls. Prediction wise I’d say he’ll be out in the last few weeks but won’t make the final.
Lisa: A Brummie sponger, Lisa’s main thing is that she is a lesbian who likes to turn other girls gay. The main problem is that not a lot of people want to see a 41 year old skin-head turning girls half her age (unless she went for Angel). Lisa seems quite normal as compared to a lot of the people in there and I think her opening video makes her seem a lot more of a dick than she actually is. I would say that she is a cross between BB1′s Nicola and BB8′s Tracey. And I think the British public will identify with this uneducated dreamer, another candidate to go quite a long way in the process.
Sophie: The first of the dumb blondes this ‘model and promotions girl’ has already done Playboy and got completely naked. So surely when she comes out of the house, Nuts will be a bit of a comedown for her. She is naturally big-boobed but has had a boob-job but she would like them that big so that she could push them round like a double-buggy. I think she’d be out in a couple of weeks won’t make it past the first month.
At this point I am starting to get a bit fed up of Davina’s constant links as the contestants are going in if they were stuck in a lift with anyone it would be, if they weren’t what they did they would be… anyway on with the show.
Kris: Needs four girls including one to drive him to ASDA, I’m not sure how the mainly female audience will take to him. He seems quite chauvinistic and a bit big-headed, and a bit of a Russell Brand wannabe. He loves mirrors and he loves his hair. But then again he has also been in a STD advert so women beware. I reckon he will be the dull hunk of the year and lay around for six weeks or so.
Noirin: Probably the most boring of the contestants, but then her dad is a priest so they probably grew up without a T.V. Her mum is from Kenya which kind of fills the African element of this year’s United Nations of Big Brother. For someone I found quite apathetic she’s getting a lot of hate from the audience. Again someone who won’t last more than a month, she just isn’t as interesting as the rest of the bunch and she’s not as visually striking as the other girls.
I would just like to point out that Davina is wearing a very fetching biker/cat suit leather number which is a very bold choice for opening night.
Cairon: Originally came across as quite charming and quite original likes wearing bright colours but since going into the house has become quite underhanded. He does look a bit like what Pharell Williams would look like if he went to Grange Hill. He did make quite a homophobic comment which seems to have been cut out of the 4OD reruns (it was when the Big Brother woman asked him if he was gay he said he got afraid wiping his own ass). I’m a bit up in the air with Cairon at the moment but if he starts being as personable if he was in his opening package then he’s a possibility to make it to final week.
Davina wonders why no-one has notice that there are no other rooms. Umm… because their getting to know each other.
Angel: She’s from Russia isn’t she weird? Kind of she names her abdominal muscles and she is a professional female boxer. She was also a rock star in mother Russia and she’s generally very quirky. She came into the house wearing a top hat and carrying a cane looking like some kind of mid-sixties Bond Villain when the Cold War was still going. Maybe Jack Baeur has had a run in with her. I think I’m in the minority of liking Angel, as she is the first to get the ‘off, off’ chants and she’s isn’t exactly likeable but she’s more interesting than a lot of those horrible girls that are in there. If only there was a superhero to smite this Russian villain…
Karly: Can’t quite decide if she’s a blonde or brunette but she’s come into the house as a blonde, which ruffles Sophie’s feathers. She’s a bit horrible and she thinks she’s more bitchy than she actually is. Was a former FHM High Street Honey but like Sophie, past the looks there’s nothing there. She is unfortunately a wannabe WAG but has already date a Scottish Third Division footballer but dropped out of Uni. I would actually want to see her being turned by Lisa which would actually be quite amusing but I think Karly won’t be long in the Big Brother world.
Marcus: Big Brother wan’t to conquer Angel by sending Wolverine in there. Actually its Window fitter Marcus who looks like someone who eats baked beans from a tin while watching re-runs of the World’s Strongest Man on Channel Five. In fact Marcus is quite likeable and much down to Earth but a bit crazy he’s had a brick broken over his head and has caught a pigeon with his bare hands. Out of all the housemates at the moment I would say that Marcus is my favourite to win but because he isn’t actually ascetically pleasing he won’t win.
Beinazir: Looks like an extra from Bend it Like Beckham. This Pakistani Muslim girl is named after Beinazir Bhuto because her father was a good friend of hers. She’s a lot more interesting than most of the other young girls in there, she’s likeable but I don’t think she’ll last long because she’s that different to what we’re used to.
Sophia: Will clash with Karly as she hasn’t got any time for Wannabe WAGs why would you want to be something that requires no brain cells? She has a point. But at the same time she has an annoying laugh. She is four foot eleven and looks a bit like a podgy June Sarpong. But I think she’s got a lot to say and if she’s allowed to stay in their long enough she will get to say it. I do like Sophia and if she stops being over-excited she could easily get near to the final because I think girls will like her.
Rodrigo: A loveable houseboy, who isn’t sure whether he’s gay or not, but England is turning him gay. Because Brazil is such a closeted country. But Rodrigo is adding to the Unite Nations of BB (Russian, Kenyan, Pakistani and now Brazilian). He is a Christian but also signs a bit like Borat (‘I like you do you like me’). Rodrigo is the first to become an official housemate but doesn’t actually understand much English which may grate on me after the first couple of weeks as he is a bit hysterical.
Charlie: The gay version of Anthony from BB6, he is the former Mr. Gay Newcastle and is destined to have a bit of a thing with Rodrigo, it would certainly be the first ever gay relationship on the show, which is what I’m guessing they’re going for this year. For someone who loves himself he didn’t stop an pose for the camera’s which shows a lot of class. Again Charlie is someone who will stay in a long time because I think girl’s will like him.
Saffia: Probably the least likeable of the contestants, she hasn’t got anything about her. She has too young kids and has left both of their dads. She claims her kids are her main priority yet she’s leaving her nine-moth baby to go into a house possibly for 12 weeks. She thinks she’s brainy because she’s a dental nurse but it doesn’t take much to tell people to spit and floss. She doesn’t like being known as a single mum she want’s to be known as an independent mum. But the single mum will only be there a couple of weeks so she’d probably be there for her kids sooner than she thinks.
Sree: Pronounced shree, another foreigner he’s an Indian but loves the U.K. a lot. His profession has been listed as Student Union President but is that an actual career. He pursued a MA in International studies but know he’s campus president. He bizarrely thinks the U.K. in the 1980s saw the Queen walking down the street smelling of flowers, doesn’t know about the last recession or the miner’s strike then. He comes into the house wearing a Union Jack suit and looking like the oddest BNP member of all time.
Siavish: If Jim Henson ever made a wizard character to add to the muppets he would look a bit like Siavish. He does look like a medieval soothsayer meets a psychedelic era Beatle, and the ideal contestant to end the introductions. He’s from Iran and plays music or something but he talks a load of shit and that’s why he’s going to be quite entertaining. My prediction for Siavish is that he will be out in about week four.
At the money my money’s on either Sophie, Marcus or Charlie to win however we’ll have to wait to see who’ll become an actual housemate in the weeks to come.
And so to I’m Running Sainsbury’s. No not me but four lowly store-workers who have been promoted in the store’s big ideas campaign. The first episode focused on Becky Craze (far right), and her very simple idea of putting all the ingredients for the feed you family for a fiver offer in one bag. It seemed to be destined to succeed but then if everyone bought it then it wouldn’t be would it. The first portion focused on Becky’s life her six year career as a shelf-stacker and staff trainer, she tried to go to uni but didn’t enjoy it and has quite an apathetic boyfriend who didn’t really tried to comfort her throughout the programme. This was presented as her last chance even though she was only 21. It was a good idea but because it was a new product of course people were going to be dubious about buying it. In my eyes the Sainsburys head honchos set Becky a big task of shifting a lot more units than she could’ve possibly done. On top of that she had to create a new recipe instead of bagging up items of the already existing recipes which people would’ve probably enjoyed. Another problem was that some of the fresher ingredients had to be chucked because after three days they were past their sell by date. So without any fanfare or advertising Becky still managed to sell loads of bags and her idea was the biggest selling ready meal of that week. But the bosses didn’t enjoy it, didn’t think it sold enough and weren’t that realistic that shoppers would buy new products straight away without hearing anything about it previously. Poor old Becky, had to go back to her shelf-stacking ways but I think she has a career in making more ideas because she had the passion and enthusiasm over her position. But her boss didn’t think so because of her emotional outbursts. In my opinion she needs to leave that store because everyone is so pessimistic of her abilities.
Next Time: The Apprentice Final, Hope Springs and Krod Mandoon.