It does seem to be the form at the moment for producers to make a film from any source, be it books, video games or even theme park rides. However it seems that television keeps getting put up on the big screen no matter how dire the final product is. Occasionally these strike gold at the box office, as did my number one pick, but often they completely misunderstand the point of the TV show and turn into something completely ghastly or totally dull.
10. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
The Show: A campy but fun action-adventure show produced by Aaron Spelling that ran from five years that saw a parade of pretty women hunting down criminals and kicking them in the face a lot as instructed by a mysterious man named Charlie who would contact them through an intercom as well as via the smartly-dressed Bosley
The Film: Admittedly I quite liked the first Charlie’s Angels film it understood the nature of the original show and benefited from having Bill Murray as Bosley and Sam Rockwell as the villain however by the second film Murray was gone and the whole thing played like one big video game created by someone who had severe ADD.
The Main Culprits: Actresses Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz for returning mainly for a paycheck, Liu again for insulting Murray so much that he declined the offer to return for the sequel. Bernie Mac as the new African-American Bosley cousin. Demi Moore as the wooden villain. Director McG for not putting together a proper film.
Redeeming Feature: I was a big fan of the Bruce Willis cameo at the beginning and I thought Crispin Glover made for a good mysterious figure.
9. Sgt. Bilko (1996)
The Show: One of the first great American sitcoms that started life as The Phil Silvers Show which concerned the life of an incompetent and corrupt sergeant
The Film: An unfunny Steve Martin vehicle in which the character of Bilko isn’t very likeable.
The Main Culprits: Martin was obviously a fan of the show but at this period was at a bit of a low point in his career it is always hard to recreate a memorable character but Martin should’ve never have tried to emulate Silvers. Jonathan Lynn was an odd choice for director seen as he’d mainly directed flops such as Nuns on the Run and Clue and to me he didn’t add anything here.
Redeeming Feature: There wasn’t a sequel and Steve Martin learnt from his mistakes going on to make the great Bowfinger.
8. The Saint (1997)
The Show: A slightly cheesy but still enjoyable espionage thriller from the 1960s starring a pre-Bond Roger Moore
The Film: A loud run-of-the-mill action piece starring a typically wooden Val Kilmer.
The Main Culprits: Kilmer’s performance is pretty damn terrible. A backstory involving The Saint nickname being connected to Kilmer’s characters love of the Knights Templar. A general lack of appreciation to the original series.
Redeeming Feature: The soundtrack was pretty good featuring 6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps as it’s main attraction.
7. Bewitched (2005)
The Show: A sitcom of the sixties and seventies about a suburban family in which the wife just happened to be a witch.
The Film: A self-referential film in which Bewitched is being remade starring Will Ferrel’s obnoxious actor and Nicole Kidman’s newcomer who just happens to be a witch herself. The storyline sucked it wasn’t funny and if you were going to revive Bewitched why not just do a straight adaptation of the original storyline.
The Main Culprits: Will Ferrell who should know better. Nicole Kidman who just didn’t try here. The inclusion of Michael Caine for no apparent reason. The plot itself which soiled the memory of a classic sitcom.
Redeeming Feature: The fact it spawned a Family Guy segment in which Stewie attacked Ferrell for the film not being funny.
6. Inspector Gadget (1999)
The Show: A legendary eighties cartoon about a dim-witted invention-loving inspector and his evil rival Dr Claw
The Film: A live-action farce in which Matthew Broderick bumbles around for 78 minutes and Dr Claw reveals himself to be Rupert Everett
The Main Culprits: Whoever’s decision it was to feature murder in a Disney film based on a light-hearted children’s T.V. show. In addition the fact that we actually saw Dr Claw’s face to me was a big no-no part of the charm of the original show was that we only heard the Doctor and saw his ominous claw. And whoever thought that a sequel to this monstrosity should be hung for crimes against cinema.
Redeeming Feature: The fact that Matthew Broderick later realised that this had been a mistake and didn’t return for said sequel
5. The Avengers (1998)
The Show: A glossy 1960s spy show which incorporated sci-fi elements in its later series and starred Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg.
The Film: A generic spy film the plot of which was to bring down Sean Connery’s evil villain and his dastardly weather machine. The film also featured a romantic subplot between Steed and Emma Peel something that was fairly ambiguous in the show itself.
The Main Culprits: Everyone from director Jeremiah S Chechik to possibly the caterers need to take blame here. Uma Thurman was horribly miscast here why put an American in a film version of a show which is extremely British. But the worst casting has to be Shaun Ryder as one of Connery’s henchman a strange, strange choice considering he hasn’t really got any acting credentials and this was meant to be a substantial blockbuster.
Redeeming Feature: The film was thankfully edited down from just under two hours to a neater 90 minutes that still wasn’t nearly short enough though.
The Show: Gerry Anderson’s brilliantly produced puppet-based programme based around the Tracy family who run the International Rescue corporation.
The Film: An Americanised family film which was mainly seen from the kid’s point of view as shiny horrible teen actor Brady Corbet played Alan Tracy and had to save the day along with his friends who included a Pre-High School Musical Vanessa Hudgens.
The Main Culprits: Jonathan ‘William Riker’ Frakes who took all the charm out of the original TV show and creating something completely different and not in a good way. Corbett and Hudgens were just atrocious when they were on screen which was unfortunate as they were there a lot of the time. Busted also sung a horrible theme tune ‘Thunderbirds are Go’ which would inexplicably be voted Record of the Year at the end of 2004.
Redeeming Feature: (Sir) Ben Kingsley hammed it up splendidly as villain The Hood.
3. The Last Airbender (2010)
The Show: An American animated show which was set around an Asian-influenced world.
The Film: Just a horrible mess that just demonstrated how far M. Night Shyamalan has fallen since his glory days directing films like The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. As one critic rightly said, ‘Shyamalan has taken a thrilling cult series and systematically took all the personality and soul out of it.’
The Main Culprits: Obviously Shyamalan himself can shoulder most of the blame but young actor Noah Ringer showed no charisma at all in what was essentially the lead role and Slumdog Millionaire’s Dev Patel was also an odd choice to play the villain. The producers also need to be chastised for deciding to show the film in 3D for no apparent reason.
Redeeming Feature: The immature laughs you can get when each character calls themselves a bender.
2. Guest House Paradiso (1999)
The Show: The anarchic 1990s flat set sitcom Bottom which was the natural succesor to The Young Ones and was full of dirty jokes and frying pan violence.
The Film: I don’t think Bottom was ever meant to be a film and Ade Edmonson and Rik Mayall aren’t the best leading men ever having to contend with a vulgar script and a weak-thin plot: Richie and Eddie run a hotel this was full of toilet humour of the lowest degree and nothing much else.
The Main Culprits: I don’t think we can blame Rik and Ade too much as they felt a Bottom film was the next logical step after the live stage shows had been so well-received but at the same time I feel that they thought they could write and direct this as well I think if they’d let someone else to come in and help them with the writing and direction then this wouldn’t have been as messy as it was.
Redeeming Feature: Despite being misused this did have an interesting support cast including Simon Pegg, Vincent Cassel and Bill Nighy
1. Sex and the City 2 (2010)
The Show: A witty comedy-drama about women’s attitudes towards sex.
The Film: A racist, capitalist mess which concentrated more on promoting fashions than it did comments on the way some people are treated in the Arabic countries. Although the characters are supposedly sympathetic the fact they have so much money but still complain about it in on a regular basis makes for horrible viewing.
The Main Culprits: The four lead actresses for taking another pay check to make this film in particular Kim Catrall who should know better. The fans of the show who went to see this hoping it would restore their faith in the Sex and the City franchise, it didn’t.
Redeeming Feature: The fact that everybody involved agreed that this was so bad that they didn’t come back for a third instalment of the franchise.
Originally published on boob.ie