Dear Blog Readers I do promise this week at some point to do a proper blog of things I’ve watched and not reviewed elsewhere but in the meantime let’s have a look at this week’s ratings shall we?
1  Britain’s Got Talent (Sat, ITV1)
I have to say this week’s chart has been a chore to complete as the fact that all but one of the nights had a Britain’s Got Talent episode meant that some of the lower rated programmes made it in. Even though semi-finals were split throughout the week it was the final auditions show on Saturday that got the majority of the ratings probably because people wanted to know who had got through to the final plus it’s a habit for most of them. Of the shows themselves it was the auditions aired on the Bank Holiday weekend that drew the most interest as some of the bigger acts, including the final three finalists, were all involved here as we saw Jonathan and Charlotte, Ashley and Pudsey and Only Boys Aloud all make it through. I don’t want to have another rant about singing and dancing acts always getting through to the finals but there was far too many of them this year and I would rather see next year’s semis split into categories so we get more of a varied final. Anyway more on the final next week when it inevitably hits number one once again.
2  The Voice (Sat, BBC1)
With a lot of people now not so taken with The Voice as they were during the spinning chair auditions the producers really need to hype things up as this has now become just another singing show. I honestly don’t know what most people were expecting and I think the fact that the ratings have dipped means that a lot of the public are now getting a general fatigue of reality singing contests that go on for weeks at a time. My advice would be not to spend as much money on these shows and instead keep making quality dramas instead.
3  The Apprentice (Wed, BBC1)
OK so I know I just bashed long-running reality shows but I will make an exception for The Apprentice which is more of a sitcom these days with Lord Sugar’s gags obviously being written for him by a team of jobbing comedy scribes. This week’s graffiti art task was tailor-made for the majority of the candidates to make utter fools of themselves by wondering if they had to take their ties off or suggesting that a live art show take place where no-one could see it. At the end of the day it was Laura who was fired and for the first time in a while I think Sugar got it right.
4 [New] Planet Earth Live (Sun, BBC1)
Aahh.. aren’t meerkats cute? Aahh.. look at those baby bears. These comments are more were inevitably heard up and down the land as Planet Earth went live this week. The bizarre combination of Richard Hammond and Julia Bradbury led a team that went around the world trying to find examples of new animal life trying to survive. This was perfect bank holiday fare however it will be interesting to see how it does over the next couple of weeks.
5  Have I Got News For You (Fri, BBC1)
Due to the Britain’s Got Talent schedule-hogging the satirical news quiz has risen to the top five this week as regular compere Alexander Armstrong took control of the show while panellists included that Tory cabinet minister who called the conservatives a lot of posh boys. As always this was funny stuff and I’m glad that more people have watched it this week than have done throughout the series so far.
6  Not Going Out (Fri, BBC1)
Most people then seem to have hung on to BBC1 to watch another instalment of Lee Mack’s hilarious one-liner filled sitcom. This week’s episode was based around men checking their privates for lumps and such so it served as a public service announcement as well as a sitcom. I think some of the show’s critics just don’t have a funny bone as this series really has improved after a lacklustre series four.
7 [New] Britain’s Greatest Hoarders (Tues, BBC1)
Did we really need another hoarding documentary? The answer to this was an emphatic no but despite this BBC1 felt the need to jump on the bandwagon that Channel 4 had created with such shows as The Hoarder Next Door and Get Your House in Order. Even though I thought that everybody was suffering from hoarding show fatigue over four million people watched this so shame on you because at the end of the day you’re just encouraging them.
8  Piers Morgan’s Life Stories (Fri, ITV1)
The fact I had to check who Morgan’s guest was this week, it turned out to be Lulu, should tell you how widely publicised this episode was. In fact before looking I thought the Dennis Waterman edition was on however it seems that that has been delayed and almost four million people wanted to hear Lulu’s life stories. I can tell you know I was not one of them.
9 [Re] The Cube (Sat, ITV1)
As The Cube simplifies the game I have simplified the charts meaning that Phil Schofield and that weird androgynous woman find a place in here even though they were up against The Voice. I’ve said all that can be said about The Cube and at the end of the day it’s much of a muchness.
10 [New] Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (Sun, ITV1)
It feels quite good to bookend the chart with Britain’s Got Talent related shows as the latest Millionaire special focused on former BGT contestants. I felt this was a little uneven especially in the case of Stavros Flatley who were cut off by the buzzer even though they were really quick going through their questions.